As a mum running a small business, trying to find the balance between time on my business and time with my kids is the myth we are all constantly chasing. The constant struggle to 'get it right' when the reality is, that balance is much more like an ebb and flow overtime.
Many of the self-employed women I have met, started their business because they wanted to be able to spend the time with their family that really matters, to set their own priorities, and to control when and where they work. Summer is the ultimate test of that: all routine is gone (for us and our kids!) and we have to, for 6 weeks, find a new balance in this limbo of school holidays.
The First Step: Mindset
Step one is
a reality check. Mum guilt is real and intense. And Summer holidays are a prime
time for mums to feel like they’re getting it all wrong, not spending enough
time with the kids, not getting enough work done, not keeping the house tidy
enough.
This is why I loved
Abi’s first rule: “Be kind to yourself and accept that
whatever you do (as mum or business owner) is great and you’re doing your best”.
What's Your Goal?
Next up, what is it you actually want from the summer? For some people, they need to work full time so their goal will be finding a way to cover full time childcare for the whole 6 weeks. Others like to stop working entirely and fully be with the kids. Others choose or are forced to find a balance of the two, juggling some work in between the fun (this one is me!). There is no right or wrong, but you can't follow someone else's plan if your goals are different or you will definitely feel like you've failed – which you haven't!
Asking For Help
Admitting
that we might not be able to do it all alone can be hard, especially if you don’t
have the mythical village around you to step in. Every family looks different
and not everyone has willing grandparents down the road to step in, but that
doesn’t mean there isn’t some kind of help, it just might look different for
you. Here are some of the suggested ideas from my followers:
- Holiday clubs, even just one day a week so you can have a focused work day.
- Grandparents, great for giving the kids a fun day out while you're busy too.
- Partners: plan with your partner for them to schedule dedicated kid time so you can focus, or work when they get home from work/after bedtimes. Partners can also plan their annual leave to have time with the kids (even just a couple of days) giving you time to work.
- Play date swaps: if you have a friend in a similar position, you can take their kids for a day (so they can focus) and then they have yours for a day and you have your turn. I also know some freelancers (albeit with older children) who co-work while their kids play together. With older children, a playdate may actually give you the time to work while size be happily occupied with each other (with a break to make the inevitable snacks).
What Is the Most Productive Part of Your Day?
When are
your kids most likely to occupy themselves with minimal interruptions? Yes, I
know, I have young children so this question is slightly laughable but it
definitely still applies!
Lauren says “On days with the children I’ll
try and do admin/easy stuff first thing in the morning as they all usually play
quite happily then, followed by an activity and lunch. My older children will
watch some tv or play and I’ll utilise nap time as much as possible for things
I HAVE to get done during the day and I set afternoons aside for time with them”.
So how does
that look in your family? I know that tv time happily coincides with nap
time/lunch time so that is definitely the quietest part of my day. Whereas I
also know that dinner/bedtime is utter chaos in my house so I would never try
and get work done at those times because, even with my husband stepping in, the
house would probably fall apart!
What Can You Let Go Of?
I firmly
believe you can absolutely have it all, but maybe not all of it all the time!
If you are spending the summer holidays juggling kids and work, then something
has to give so you don’t end up burnt out, stressed out and missing out on the
fun yourself. Some suggestions I received of things that can be a bit more
relaxed in the holidays:
- Dinner! Think picky teas, pizzas, occasional takeaways, favourite foods or dinners which you can make together as an activity. One I'm definitely going to try is a garden picnic, simple food but made fun and a bit different! Fiona treats the family to some @thecookkitchen meals a few times too to really simplify the labour which sounds great.
- Marketing and content: is summer a busy time for your business and your potential clients? If not, then it is absolutely fine (and recommended) to take a step back. I always find I get less engagement in the school holidays anyway, so I give myself permission to do less and far simpler content too. I will plan a few pieces in advance (more focused on community than selling) and schedule them before the holidays. You can always plan a socials push in September to get things going again.
- Housework: let's be honest, no matter how much you tidy, the house is going to be covered in toys/laundry etc. So, work out what the actual essentials are and just focus on those. Do you need a tidy lounge to relax in the evening or do you not care if the Magna-tiles city stays up? They insist on turning the dining room into a pillow fort? Have a pillow fort dinner too! Does the pile of laundry hurt anyone really or is summer the perfect time for a floordrobe? Rebecca plans with her husband to redistribute the household chores, during the summer, "he does more food shopping, dinner cooking and bath and bedtimes for example" so find the plan that works best for your family.
- Work: every business is structured differently, but if you were to actually speak to your clients, are they happy for summer to look different? My clients are mainly working mums too, so we all agree to flex around holidays. For some, that may mean I work more in advance and we have a reduced workload in August. Others, we may bulk create so we can get ahead. Or maybe we'll agree a reduced service (and invoice) to cover the essentials. If your business was created to work around your family life, then let's think out of the box to make sure that it actually is!
Make Time For Fun
Whatever goal you identified above (here), did it involve spending time having fun with the kids? Then that has to be planned in too. If your work means your time is short, then think picnic teas, DIY breakfast tables, weekend activities, movie nights. If you are flexing more this summer, then have a think about how many big days out your budget allows for and plan them in. If you are looking at a low budget summer, then have a list of easy, cheap home activities or simple trips out and spread them out too. I will be stocking up on craft activities from The Works (and then hiding them so I can drip feed them!), our house will likely be Lego central too and our mission this summer is to get the eldest riding his pedal bike so plenty of bike trips too.
Parting Thoughts
The final
bit of advice received was to marry a teacher so they are around in the
holidays. So, depending on how much you can juggle with the advice above, that’s
always an option to consider! Feels like quite a bit of work if your sole
reason is childcare 😂
